we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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