He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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