I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I believe in your delicious
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
