that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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