Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
