Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
