before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
