He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I puked a lego.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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