Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
