the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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