Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
