remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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