just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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