You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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