well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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