im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
