yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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