why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
