woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
