She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
