I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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