Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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