week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
