porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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