I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
