4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
