It's Friday. Sex?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
