so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
