Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
