I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
