Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
