we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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