I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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