hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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