I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
