And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
