Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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