woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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