Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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