i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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