Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize