I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
