wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
