The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
