It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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