I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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