Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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