I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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