WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize