it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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