these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
