apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
