Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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