They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
