i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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