Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
