Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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