i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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