omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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