That's intense
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
