Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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