Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
