I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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